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 MOTHER'S EYES, ft. Seb
May 23 2016, 12:28 PM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


G
etting pregnant in her early twenties wasn't something that Lauren had hoped for - especially if she wasn't in a steady relationship. Especially if she was no longer in contact with the baby's father. It was more to do with her wanting to focus on being young, but unfortunately, also a little to do with shame. Lauren knew now that it was backwards to be ashamed of her situation, but she'd been thinking a lot lately about what a thirteen-year-old Lauren might have said. Like most young teenagers, she'd been judgemental and a little mean. So now, Lauren half expected all the girls that she and her friends had whispered about to come and point their fingers at her.

Much of Lauren's embarrassment could be sourced back to her parents. Luckily, while they were still disappointed, Lauren's parents were supportive. Luckily, Lauren had Amy. Amy was a blessing. They hadn't been together long when Lauren had found out about the baby. She'd expected her to leave, but she hadn't. She'd made Lauren feel excited about motherhood instead, and had promised to stay. They were going to raise the child together.

That was what the plan had been at first, anyway: to both be mother and father, and to keep Seb out of the picture. He'd been a good time, and Lauren had a lot of fun with him, but she hadn't been sure that she wanted him in her life forever. That was, if he'd even want to be a part of the kid's life. Lauren hadn't been sure; she didn't know him that well.

For a while, the thought of Seb not having any part in the child's life had been okay. Lauren's guilt grew stronger and more powerful as the weeks and then months went by in a dizzying blur. He wasn't a bad person. He deserved the option of being a part of things, and the kid deserved to know who their father was. Amy had been understanding about Lauren wanting to get in touch with Seb. This meant that Lauren didn't feel guilty about calling him and inviting him out for a coffee. That was saying something, considering she'd been feeling guilty for months.

The coffeeshop was a short distance away from her parent's place. She'd met Seb there a couple of times before, but not since they'd broken up. They hadn't seen much of each other at all since breaking up; there hadn't been any need to. They'd broken up on good terms, with no dirt between them. Lauren still felt uncharacteristically nervous though. She'd arrived half an hour before they were due to meet, sheathed in loose, black clothing that hid her figure. She was hoping that it would buy her some time to explain. The last thing Lauren wanted was for Seb to see what was going on immediately and make a run for it. Not that he would - right?

The woman checked the time on her phone obsessively. Every minute felt like five, but not even this was as bad as knowing that it would soon be six o'clock.

May 25 2016, 04:43 PM
he/him
twenty-four


invisibility
sales assistant
sebastian m. willoughby
ananas [she/her] • 181 posts


i don't know why
but my hands are shaking
Sebastian’s internship at his mother’s magazine was not the best of jobs, nor what he wanted to be doing for the rest of his life, but it was alright enough for now. It would be an alright gig for another few months, at least, until it ended, and that was okay with Seb. He didn’t have any particular interest in women’s fashion, but fashion in general was pretty interesting; today he was following one of the writers around as they interviewed models, for what was going to be a big long segment on shoes. Seb had learned a lot about women’s shoes recently, honestly, since the project had been ongoing for a few weeks now.

He was running late, though, as he finally left work for the day, hurrying as fast as he could. He had a car of his own, parked in his parents’ garage back at home, but he had come to work this morning with his mom, which now left him without transportation. Of course, that was rarely an issue for Seb; he called for an Uber, giving the driver directions to the cafe where Lauren had asked to meet him. He remembered it well, of course. It was near Lauren’s parents’ place, she’d told him, and they’d met there a handful of times when they’d still been dating. Of course… that had been months ago, so he wasn’t sure why she wanted to meet there today, when it’d been so long since they’d spoken.

A part of him was somewhat worried this meeting might turn into something of a “let’s get back together” discussion, but he still followed her on Instagram, and he was fairly sure that she had a girlfriend now. (They looked very sweet, really; he was happy for her.) So it likely wasn’t that, but Sebastian truthfully had no idea what else it might be. He hadn’t mentioned the entire meeting to Prosper just yet, not finding the time to fit it into conversation anywhere; he was always so busy, it was hard for Sebastian to find a time to talk to him at all sometimes. But perhaps it would be better for him anyways to see what was happening before he said anything to his boyfriend, though he felt a small twinge of guilt for keeping anything from him.

He tried to push it away. It wasn’t like he was going behind Prosper’s back. Mainly, he just didn’t want to worry him with any of this. Exes were a sensitive subject in relationships sometimes, and Sebastian didn’t want to mess anything up. They’d only been together about three months, now. That wasn’t a long time — even if, on the inside, Seb knew already that he fully, absolutely loved him.

The clock in the car read that it was now just about six o’clock, by the time they finally pulled up outside of the coffeeshop. He tipped his driver with a ten dollar bill and then hurried out of the car. He never liked to be late, although it happened more often than he liked to admit. His mother had always told him off for it. But he hurried into the café, spotting her quickly and smiling as he approached, taking the seat across from her. “Lauren! Hey! It’s good to see you.” He meant it, too; they had split very amicably, and she was a sweet girl. She was beautiful, too, always had been, although she looked somewhat different now than she had before. He couldn’t quite place his finger on what it was, so he didn’t bring it up, instead just gestured at the menu behind him. “Did you order anything yet? Can I get you something? My treat.”

tag: lauren
notes: eep <3
May 30 2016, 10:20 AM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


W
hen the clock on her phone turned five fifteen, Lauren wasn't worried. Being late was typical Seb behaviour. Lauren had even found it endearing at one point.

When it turned five thirty, she realised that she didn't find it endearing any more. She was nervous, and all she wanted was to go home and soak away all her aches and pains in a long bath.

At quarter to six, Lauren's nerves began to seep away. Maybe Seb had forgotten. Maybe he'd caught wind that she was pregnant, and he'd decided to stay away. Lauren had never had Seb pegged as a coward, but maybe he had never intended to show up.

It was at six, as Lauren was finishing checking her messages to make sure that she'd definitely told Seb to meet her at five, that he showed up. Separate waves of disappointment and relief hit the woman all at once. She'd really wanted him to show up, but knew that him doing so was probably going to complicate things. "Hi, stranger!" she greeted with a strained smile. She would have stood up to give him a hug, but didn't want to risk giving things away too quickly. Lauren felt that it'd be safer to ease Seb into the idea of becoming a father.

"If you're offering, a piece of that chocolate cake would be bomb," she suggested. Lauren had been hoping to leave by six to go and eat dinner with her parents and Liam. Maybe, if he'd taken the news well, then Seb could have joined them.  There was no way she was going to make it now though.

Jun 4 2016, 01:01 AM
he/him
twenty-four


invisibility
sales assistant
sebastian m. willoughby
ananas [she/her] • 181 posts


i don't know why
but my hands are shaking
Sebastian smiled widely, though he felt kind of awkward when she didn’t stand up to hug him or anything. He would never push physical affection on other people who didn’t want it, of course, but there had been a time when they would have hugged without question. Then again, it had been months since they’d seen one another in person, and not much less time than that since they’d really spoken at all anywhere. It wasn’t like things were tense right now, but they felt… awkward, really, when she just stayed seated. Well, that was okay — and fair. He couldn’t exactly fault her for that. Hopefully, whatever she had to say to him today would make things clearer.

“Chocolate cake? Yes ma’am,” he said, nodding and getting up. He’d barely been seated for a few seconds, but that was okay. Seb had never liked sitting for more than a few seconds, anyway. “Anything to drink?” he asked, cocking his head to one side, making sure to commit the order to memory before going to make the order.

He returned shortly with her cake and a peanut butter brownie for himself, and their drink orders. He’d always liked how fast this café was — it was definitely a nice little spot near campus. He might not have been a student anymore, but it was nice to know that things were still largely the same as they had been last time he was here. “Okay, one slice of chocolate cake, there you go.” He tucked his wallet away into his back pocket somewhat carelessly, sliding back into his seat and beaming at Lauren. “And I got held up at work, some of those photographers really don’t mess around…” He said it jokingly, keeping the conversation light before he sobered up a second later and said, more seriously, “But I’m sorry I’m late, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting…” He had kept her waiting an impossibly long time, he knew. There was no excuse for that.

tag: lauren
notes: eep <3
Jun 15 2016, 08:39 PM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


E
ven before they'd dated, the relationship that Lauren and Seb shared had been easy-going. Lauren'd always felt comfortable around him. She'd given him physical affection without a thought. And even after they'd broken up, she'd left Seb with a tight hug and a promise to remain friends. Hopefully the time they'd spent apart would be enough to explain Lauren's lack of enthusiasm. She hoped so - she hoped that she wasn't making Seb feel awkward about their meet-up.

Lauren asked for a glass of orange juice with her chocolate cake, then sat back to simmer in her nerves. Her cheeks were pinking up and her stomach twisted anxiously every couple of seconds. The latter wasn't helped much by her hunger, which was beginning to make her feel nauseous.

Lauren's face lit up like a Christmas tree when Seb returned with the cake. It wasn't exactly nutritious, but it looked good enough to sate her sweet tooth. "Thanks, dude." she hummed. A protective hand laid over the bulk of her stomach as she pulled her chair closer to the table. Lauren caught herself and busied herself with the cake, flustered.

When Seb began to apologise for being late, Lauren was surprised to find that she was no longer annoyed. "Don't worry about it," the woman dismissed with a lazy wave of her hand. There were more important things to stew over now.

Like how exactly she was going to break the news to Seb.

Lauren had gone over what she was going to say a million times with Amy. Now that she was sat there though, facing Seb, her head was empty save for a lone tumbleweed. "How's work, anyways?" Lauren asked. Work was... a little off-topic, but it was important, wasn't it? If Seb wanted in on the kid's life, then Lauren expected him to help her out with child support. "You doing okay, financially?"

Intrusive, but Lauren was trying hard to steer the conversation in the right direction.


Jun 28 2016, 03:34 PM
he/him
twenty-four


invisibility
sales assistant
sebastian m. willoughby
ananas [she/her] • 181 posts


i don't know why
but my hands are shaking
He had always liked how easy it was to talk to Lauren. Perhaps it was because he was largely used to the girls he’d gone to school with, before university — back when he’d been at some private school on the North Side, rubbing shoulders with the other rich kids. Since he’d graduated from there and started attending the University of Chicago, he’d discovered loads of other people. But still, it was a little bit jarring sometimes. He could never imagine Vera Knight calling someone “dude,” for example. But Lauren was nice, relaxed, fun. Even now that they were no longer dating, he could definitely appreciate all of that.

“I really am sorry,” he said one more time, shaking his head, but he’d let it go. “Thank you.” It was something that his mother would have frowned upon, that was for sure. He could practically see her shooting him a disappointed glance if she’d known how late he was. That would have been appalling to her. It was kind of ironic that he’d been late because he’d been stuck at work — working for her. But he didn’t dwell on it, pushing the thought aside.

He was immediately distracted anyway by the question, and he paused mid-sip of tea, putting it down. It wasn’t an entirely odd question, at least not the first part. Asking about work was fairly par for the course. But the second part of the question had an odd tone to it that made him hesitate before answering. Still, he was honest, shrugging his shoulders lightly. Perhaps it only sounded odd to him because, well, he was always doing okay financially — that wasn’t really something people ever asked him.

“Work is okay.” He shrugged his shoulders, smiling easily, deciding not to let the question bother him too much. “My internship will be up in a few months, but I’m not too worried about it. We’ll see where life goes from there, right?” He had never been worried about money, or work. Sebastian had always lived in the lap of luxury. “How’s work for you? And school? You’re done now, right?” She would have graduated just recently, if he remembered correctly.

tag: lauren
notes: eep <3
Jul 16 2016, 09:06 PM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


A
little stress was good for the system. However, Lauren had been freaking out since she'd decided that she wanted Seb to know about the baby. While most of her worry had been spent on Seb, she was also afraid about what his family might think. Lauren didn't know the Willoughbys, but she couldn't see them taking the news of the baby well. If Seb chose to be a father, then Lauren hoped that his parents would be as supportive - if not more - as hers were being.

"Seb, it's cool," Lauren insisted quietly. She'd always liked to think that Seb could relax around her, but that wasn't how it felt anymore. She'd never expected anything of him other than some respect and a fun time. Maybe that was the reason their relationship hadn't gone the distance; they'd just been together for the fun of it.

Lauren wished that their meeting could have been more fun.

She worried that she sounded shallow for immediately jumping into the subject of money, but that was the least of her worries. Lauren found herself smiling tensely at Seb. He seemed so lax about not having any plans for after his internship. She supposed that his family would be able to support him financially if he wanted in on the baby's life though. "Right," the woman agreed. Her fingers quivered gently, like she'd had too much caffeine, as she pushed an inky strand of hair behind her ear. "I graduated a couple of weeks ago," Lauren told Seb. "I'm waitressing right now. I'm looking for something more permanent but it's... hard." No one seemed to want to hire the pregnant girl.

Lauren sighed, untucked her hair from behind her ear and forked a chunk of cake into her mouth irritably. She knew she was probably giving out all the wrong signals, but being her usual, calm self was out of the question. "I guess you're wondering why I asked you to meet up with me."


Aug 16 2016, 01:59 AM
he/him
twenty-four


invisibility
sales assistant
sebastian m. willoughby
ananas [she/her] • 181 posts


i don't know why
but my hands are shaking
Lauren seemed… tense, and that wasn’t usually a word he would have ever used to describe her before. She was calm, easygoing, laidback, so chill. Perhaps it was what had made them work out so well as a couple, at least for the few months they’d been together. They had, after all, worked out really well, a nice balance that kept things interesting and fun. They’d gotten bored of it eventually, or at least lost the kind of spark that had been there in the beginning. But when they’d still been dating, things had been nice, easy. Lauren was a quiet balance to Seb’s vibrant loudness. Right now, though, she seemed… well, she still wasn’t loud by any means, but she wasn’t the relaxed, cool-headed girl Sebastian had dated, either. He wondered if this was just the way she was now, or if there was something bothering her. He supposed that he would find out in short time if it were the latter.

Her fingers were trembling slightly, but he didn’t say anything when he caught the small motions. If something was upsetting her, he certainly didn’t want to push. “What kind of work have you been looking for? Something in radio? You were always really good at it,” he encouraged, smiling, trying to be supportive. Besides, if she was looking for something specific, then maybe he could try to help — he wouldn’t know if he didn’t ask. Seb (or his parents, rather) had contacts in all areas and industries. There was a strong possibility he’d be able to do something like that for a friend if he tried. But his smile faded slowly as Lauren seemed to finally be ready to get down to the heart of the matter, whatever it was, and he paused a beat, trying to decide how best to respond. “I was a bit curious, yeah,” he said finally, though he kept his tone warm, casual. Lauren was on edge, but he hadn’t figured out why yet. It seemed that he would be, very shortly. “Is… everything okay, Lauren?”

tag: lauren
notes: here we go...
Sep 5 2016, 05:34 PM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


F
rom the way that Seb had fixed the conversation onto something that Lauren could talk about, to how he was smiling, she could tell that he was trying to make her feel comfortable. Lauren didn't like being visibly shaken. Normally, her nerves manifested into dumb jokes and quiet but giddy laughter. Normally, the only things she had to be nervous about were job interviews, and dates with her girlfriend. Those nerves felt good. These nerves felt sickly. "Thanks," Lauren responded. Her smile was a two-dimensional copy of its true self. "I'm hoping to be on the radio. There has to be something out there for me." Lauren was hoping that that 'something' wouldn't cost a bomb to commute to everyday, and that it'd pay better than her current job.

Finding a job was now future Lauren's problem though. Present Lauren's job was to talk to Seb and hope that he didn't flee.

Although it wouldn't be worst thing in the world if Seb decided that he didn't want to be a part of the kid's life. Things might be a lot simpler if she and Amy could raise their child alone. The thought of keeping Seb in the dark had just been too heavy a burden though.

"This isn't me saying I want us to get back together," Lauren's started. She filled and emptied her lungs luxuriantly, had a bite of her cake. Rushing would be a mistake. "I have a girlfriend who I love." There was no going back now, Lauren realised as she examined her ex with panicked eyes. She was going to have to tell him exactly what was going on. Lauren had been good with words, growing up. She'd never been afraid to say what was on her mind. Now, though? Now she understood just how powerful words were. "I'm having a baby," Lauren said slowly. She felt the weight the words on her tongue. They were life changing. "They're yours. Biologically."

Oct 2 2016, 01:43 AM
he/him
twenty-four


invisibility
sales assistant
sebastian m. willoughby
ananas [she/her] • 181 posts


i don't know why
but my hands are shaking
Unfortunately, Sebastian had never known anyone in radio, besides — well, Lauren herself. Obviously that wouldn’t do any good to mention, so he didn’t say anything, just nodded silently. Normally he would have tried a little harder to make some good conversation. As it was, though… Sebastian was too curious to find out what this was all about. And dragging out the present discussion, unless it was directly related (though he had a feeling that it wasn’t) wouldn’t do him any good in that respect. He would just wait for her to tell him whatever it was that she needed to say.

Lauren started by saying that she didn’t want to get back together, and Seb couldn’t deny the mild relief he felt at that. It would have been quite the awkward conversation. He knew that Lauren didn’t know about Prosper — nobody really did, except for a few close friends — but he certainly would have had to tell her, given that kind of conversation. As it was, though, it didn’t seem that’d be necessary — but her next words made him think of Prosper immediately. “I have a girlfriend who I love.” He had already known about Amy, of course he had — but there was something about hearing her say it with such candidness that made his heart start beating wildly in his chest when he thought about Prosper.

He was smiling, mouth actually opening to start to form the words — I have a boyfriend. I love him, too. He hadn’t even said the words to his own boyfriend yet, but Lauren’s certainty in her own relationship was inspiring, beautiful. He did love Prosper. He hadn’t been absolutely sure until this moment, but now he knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt. It was a beautiful feeling, a kind of elation that he hardly understood.

Before he had a chance to speak, though, Lauren had continued, and the balloon inside of Sebastian popped, leaving him with the worst feeling of dread in him. He was usually a man of words — they came naturally to him, he believed in the beauty of words and eloquence and all of it. But this — this kind of news left Sebastian speechless. “I’m having a baby.” Oh, no. Oh, no no no. “They’re yours. Biologically.” His first reaction was shock — he couldn’t comprehend how this was happening. Then, disbelief. He literally couldn’t comprehend it.

His words came with a stuttering start. “B-but — how… how is that even possible?” His eyes were wide, the question probably sounding completely childlike in the complete lack of understanding behind it. “I — I mean, I know how it’s possible,” he corrected, trying to sound any kind of poised. It didn’t work. “I just mean… we haven’t… it’s been months.” It was true, though. He could feel it in his gut, he knew. And he knew Lauren, even if it had been a long time — he might not have known her particularly personally, for a relationship, but he knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t messing with him right now. “You’re… having a baby.” There was a scared note in his voice — scared acceptance.

tag: lauren
notes: here we go...
Oct 19 2016, 02:59 PM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


L
auren's eyes widened apologetically. It was a relief to have everything out in the open. But, now she had to deal with the guilt of keeping things from Seb for months. What if he held her silence against her? "I wasn't going to tell you," Lauren admitted, "but you deserve the chance to be in your kid's life. You're a good guy." (And, her parents would no doubt stop looking so disappointed, if they knew Lauren had tried to get Seb involved.) (And Seb's family was financially stable.) (But her honesty was at least 60% down to Seb being a good guy, truly.)

"I'm having a baby," Lauren confirmed quietly. Giving her ex a moment to process the news, she ducked her head to fork a piece of chocolate cake into her mouth. With her attention diverted for a moment, Lauren also got the chance to remind herself to breathe. The hard part was over now. "My girlfriend has already said that she wants to be a parent to them, but it'd mean the world to both of us if you were too. In whatever way possible," she continued. They were both young. Lauren had been able to decide whether she wanted to become a mother or not, so she thought it was only fair if Seb got to make the same decision.

Lauren pulled her bag into her lap from where it'd been wedged between her thigh and the arm of the chair. Because she held onto the belief that a messy handbag equated to a messy mind, it wasn't hard for Lauren to find what she'd been looking for. She pulled out a slightly scuffed up envelope and nudged it cautiously over the table towards Seb. "There's a couple of ultrasounds in there, if you want to see."


Dec 17 2016, 03:30 AM
he/him
twenty-four


invisibility
sales assistant
sebastian m. willoughby
ananas [she/her] • 181 posts


i don't know why
but my hands are shaking
He didn’t necessarily like the fact that she hadn’t planned to tell him, but at the same time… he couldn’t be upset about it, either. It was reasonable. Sebastian — well, he knew that he was considered a decent guy, that people liked him, that he was good to people. But he’d frequently heard, especially from his mother, that he was somewhat… unreliable. He couldn’t blame Lauren for wanting to hide it from him.

At the same time, it hurt a little bit, that she hadn’t trusted him enough. He was too immature, too irresponsible. Lauren wouldn’t say that, of course, but he’d heard it enough in his life that he understood anyway. He couldn’t fault Lauren for thinking it and nearly deciding to cut Sebastian out of the picture altogether. The thought shook him a little bit, jolting him out of his silence. “I want to be involved,” he said, all in a rush, a little too loudly — a few people turned around and looked at him, but now that the adrenaline was pumping, he was moving much too quickly to really take note. If he had, it might have spooked him. As it was, he kept going, blurting out the next part.

“Anything you need, I’ll — I want to help and be involved… whatever way you’ll let me be involved.” Perhaps the words sounded disingenuous coming from Sebastian, who didn’t even have a “real” job (working for his own mother’s magazine hardly counted, even if it was a big publication) and barely knew anything about real responsibility. But he meant them. “And — I have a boyfriend, too.” He didn’t know why he said it, except that it seemed like the kind of thing that he should mention in a conversation like this, especially since Lauren had brought up her girlfriend already. It hit him that he didn’t know if Prosper would want anything to do with this — but surely Prosper wouldn’t just turn his back on him, would he? Sebastian liked to think not. “I want to be a dad,” he affirmed, more quietly this time, suddenly acutely aware of every single person in this coffeeshop. He knew that he didn’t know any of them personally, but he still worried somewhat.

He gingerly opened the envelope and tugged out the ultrasounds, looking them over. He felt like it was something that he should have done with some kind of reverence — for the fact that he was looking at a picture of a life that he had helped to create — but he couldn’t feel anything but shock, still, for the most part. Perhaps the awe and happiness would set in later. Right now, he just felt confused. Still — this was going to be his baby, his own child. Even in his frazzled state of mind, Seb smiled at that. “Do you know if they’re a boy or girl yet?” he asked, and then blinked, realizing a much more pressing question. “When are you due?” If the baby was his, and it seemed that it must have been, then… Lauren had to be rather heavily pregnant already.

tag: lauren
notes: here we go...
Feb 6 2017, 06:05 PM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


L
auren wasn't particularly surprised when Seb told her that he wanted to be involved with his child. She knew that if she had been in his position, she would have wanted to be, no matter how afraid she was. "Alright," she said, her tone coaxing and soothing. Lauren was starting to wonder if the location was too public for the discussion they were having. She was convinced that people were watching them, training their ears on their conversation. "I'm not doubting that you want to be involved," Lauren continued quietly, "I'm glad you want in."

She tried not to think too much about Seb's family's money when he told her he'd give her anything she needed. Money had always been tight for Lauren. She understood what it was like to really, really need some financial support, but there was more to this than being able to pay the bills and buy milk formula. This was Seb's relationship with his child. "A boyfriend? What's he like?" asked Lauren curiously. A brief break from talking about the baby was a welcome change, and she liked being updated on Seb's life. "You'll be a really good dad. I know you will."

Lauren felt the need to look away as her ex opened up the envelope to look at the ultrasound pictures. Most fathers saw their child for the first time in a much more intimate setting. Lauren couldn't give him that, but she could give him a little privacy. She would have understood his shock - Lauren had felt the exact same way the first time she'd seen her kid on the ultrasound screen. Even so, she still half-expected Seb to immediately fall in love with the grainy picture. "I haven't found out," the woman confessed. She didn't really care about whether she had a boy or a girl. The fact that it was a baby was a much more pressing, urgent matter to worry about. "Do you want to find out? You could come with me to my next scan, if you want."

For the first time since Seb had arrived, Lauren drew attention to her stomach. The black she'd shrouded herself in had done a good job in concealing things, but once she rested her hand on the bump, the pregnancy became obvious. "Mid December," Lauren told Seb. "Is that... okay?"


Feb 24 2017, 03:36 PM
he/him
twenty-four


invisibility
sales assistant
sebastian m. willoughby
ananas [she/her] • 181 posts


i don't know why
but my hands are shaking
Lauren said she didn’t doubt him, and that was at the very least slightly reassuring. But truth be told, Sebastian wouldn’t have blamed her if she’d said that she didn’t think he could do this. He wasn’t exactly most people’s definition of responsible. He looked away, nodding. There was a moment’s silence. “Thank you,” he said finally, breaking it. His voice was quiet, but serious — both rarities for Seb. The sentiment of the moment seemed to weigh heavily, too heavily, on him.

He hesitated again. He rarely told people about Prosper — that had been the case for any of the guys he’d dated. But Lauren seemed to genuinely want to know, and in that moment, Sebastian felt more vulnerable — in an open way rather than a scared way — than usual. “He’s the best,” he gushed suddenly, without really thinking about it. “He’s so sweet and nice and… caring. We met at the hospital, he was my nurse when I broke my leg.” He said it nonchalantly, like it was no big deal. For Seb, that was kind of true. He was extremely accident-prone. “I think you’ll really like him… What’s your girlfriend like? If you don’t mind me asking.” He was mostly just curious, but he supposed in retrospect that it was also important to ask — if Lauren’s girlfriend was also going to be involved in this baby’s life, then he wanted to know what she was like, too.

He nodded quietly, taking the pictures but not looking at them yet. “Thank you.” It was gratitude for showing him the pictures, but also for what she said — that he’d be a good dad. Sebastian wasn’t so sure about that. He’d always liked kids, but having one right now was a different story — he was still young and stupid, after all. He had no idea what the heck he was doing. He opened the envelope and just stared at the pictures inside. The news still didn’t seem to be settling in. He felt like he was supposed to have some kind of bigger reaction to the picture, and he felt bad that it wasn’t happening. This was all so much. He was overwhelmed and scared, but he shoved it all down to try and put on a brave face. “I would love to come to your next scan. When is it?” Maybe he was still terrified, but he had said he would do this, so he needed to do it — fully.

It didn’t seem okay — none of this seemed okay, it was all scaring him so, so much — but he knew that there was nothing that either of them could do about it. Babies didn’t adhere to logic. “Of course it’s okay.” He watched as she put a hand on her stomach, highlighting the baby bump. She really was pregnant. Sebastian forgot to breathe for a second. Once his throat finally started working again, he asked, voice quiet, “Can I, um…” He gestured somewhat jerkily with his hand, hoping that she understood the question. He wanted to feel the baby.

tag: lauren
notes: here we go...
Mar 3 2017, 08:59 PM
she/her
twenty-three


light manipulation
Radio DJ
lauren s. ng
Alice [she/they] • 286 posts


E
ven though they'd had a good time together, Lauren couldn't say that she ever remembered being vulnerable or particularly emotional with Seb. What would have been the point in trying to bare her soul to someone that she didn't feel she was going to be with forever? There'd been a couple of minutes of respite for Lauren after she'd told Seb why she'd wanted to meet up with him again, but now all those anxious, buzzing feelings were returning. It felt wrong to be having such a serious conversation with someone Lauren didn't know well on an emotional level.

"You broke your leg?" Lauren asked, sounding alarmed; she'd never broken any bones, not even any of the little ones in her feet or fingers. "That sounds super cute. Did you ask him out straight away?" Listening to Seb talk about his new boyfriend, it struck Lauren as ironic that they'd both met such amazing people (people who maybe they wanted to settle down with?) just as they were about to have a baby together. She couldn't help but smile when Seb asked about Amy. Needless to say, things had become quite serious between the two of them fast after Lauren had discovered she was pregnant, but she still wasn't feeling the boredom that she'd expected to settle in once she'd fallen in love and her family was starting. "She's been with me every step of the way, even though she could have abandoned ship," Lauren told Seb, "we hadn't been dating long when I found out I was pregnant, so I guess it's meant to be."

Lauren hoped that she wasn't making Seb feel bad by mentioning Amy's commitment to the baby. But, letting him see how responsible the other woman in his kid's life was felt important, too. She watched her ex carefully as he looked at the pictures, knowing how he could be when things got to be too overwhelming for him. So far, he seemed to be handling things well though. "It's next week," said Lauren, "I'm pretty sure if you asked the technician what I'm having, they'd whisper the gender in your ear or something. I just really want it to be a surprise?"

Lauren looked from Seb's hand to her stomach, then nodded. She didn't like how the moment she'd started showing, it'd been like her body had become everyone's to touch, but she didn't mind Seb feeling the baby. "Go for it," the woman invited with a lazy downwards gesture of her hand.

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